Home Safe
After 32 hours of traveling we arrived home safe last night around 6:30. We are very sleepy, tired, and sore. riding in a car on African roads for 3-4 hours a day has taken a toll on us. A special thanks to everyone who prayed for us.
He is a post I wrote a few days back. Enjoy
We finished our travels early today. Most days we have been spending 4-6 hours in the truck rattling down broken roads. Today we finished early so the others could get back to Nairobi. I used the extra time to relax in my room and do some reading. I was able to finish Joseph Conrad's “Heart of Darkness”. I must say I liked it a lot. I really like how he used the character of Marlow to offset the character of Mr. Kurtz.
If you have not read the book its about a riverboat captian named Marlow who is hired to go deep into Africa to a forgotten trading post to pick up the post headmaster who has gone crazy. If you are thinking this sounds a lot like Apocalypse Now, it's because the movie is a very loose adaptation of the book (and I mean really loose).
Kurtz is a man who has the world at his feet. He is talented, smart, gifted, and has a way with words that inspires people. Marlow on the other hand is an average guy who has to rely on his aunt to get him a job he is under-qualified for.
Kurtz starts out like all gifted people do, with big dreams. Somewhere along the line he goes out to a ivory trading post in the dark Congo of Africa to make a name for himself. While trying to change the world he meets some unknown aspect of his inner self. Out in the wilderness he cannot rely on his smooth tongue and numerous gifts. Over time his inability to survive on personality alone turns him insane.
The unsuspecting riverboat captian Marlow is soon sent in to get Kurtz from his post. Unlike Kurtz Marlow is an average guy with little known ambition but seems to survive enough to get him up the river in one piece. After a run in with Kurtz faithful army of tribal solders from a nearby village Marlow finds himself face to face with Kurtz who is deathly ill. While dying Kurtz manages to whisper his last words filled with hope, fear, loss and regret. “The horror, the horror” is all he says.
This unexpected climax to this story has me thinking a lot about a wasted life. Upon reflection I think one of my greatest fears is that my life will be lived in vain. To think that I would somehow miss my calling or that I will in some way waste any gifts given me sometimes keeps me up at night. Often in my ministry I find myself wondering if I am doing any good at all or if I am really even making a difference. A few chapters after Kurtz dies Marlow finds himself reflecting on the meaning of his words “the horror”. Was it a statement of the world to come or a statements of a life lived? Many of us in christian circles ask the same questions.
There is so much of my faith that confuses me. Issues of Gods calling, issues of belief, issues of understanding. Much of it is still confusing some 20 years after I was baptized. I think I liked the book because while at one time I identified with Kurtz (all full of ambition, talent, and a desire to change the world) I know identify with Marlow (just a simple guy doing the best he can with what he has). I used to think God wanted us to be the best at something. The older I get and the more time I spend on this dust ball the more I feel like maybe God just wants us to be. “Be still and know that I am God” Seems like I may have read that somewhere as well....
He is a post I wrote a few days back. Enjoy
We finished our travels early today. Most days we have been spending 4-6 hours in the truck rattling down broken roads. Today we finished early so the others could get back to Nairobi. I used the extra time to relax in my room and do some reading. I was able to finish Joseph Conrad's “Heart of Darkness”. I must say I liked it a lot. I really like how he used the character of Marlow to offset the character of Mr. Kurtz.
If you have not read the book its about a riverboat captian named Marlow who is hired to go deep into Africa to a forgotten trading post to pick up the post headmaster who has gone crazy. If you are thinking this sounds a lot like Apocalypse Now, it's because the movie is a very loose adaptation of the book (and I mean really loose).
Kurtz is a man who has the world at his feet. He is talented, smart, gifted, and has a way with words that inspires people. Marlow on the other hand is an average guy who has to rely on his aunt to get him a job he is under-qualified for.
Kurtz starts out like all gifted people do, with big dreams. Somewhere along the line he goes out to a ivory trading post in the dark Congo of Africa to make a name for himself. While trying to change the world he meets some unknown aspect of his inner self. Out in the wilderness he cannot rely on his smooth tongue and numerous gifts. Over time his inability to survive on personality alone turns him insane.
The unsuspecting riverboat captian Marlow is soon sent in to get Kurtz from his post. Unlike Kurtz Marlow is an average guy with little known ambition but seems to survive enough to get him up the river in one piece. After a run in with Kurtz faithful army of tribal solders from a nearby village Marlow finds himself face to face with Kurtz who is deathly ill. While dying Kurtz manages to whisper his last words filled with hope, fear, loss and regret. “The horror, the horror” is all he says.
This unexpected climax to this story has me thinking a lot about a wasted life. Upon reflection I think one of my greatest fears is that my life will be lived in vain. To think that I would somehow miss my calling or that I will in some way waste any gifts given me sometimes keeps me up at night. Often in my ministry I find myself wondering if I am doing any good at all or if I am really even making a difference. A few chapters after Kurtz dies Marlow finds himself reflecting on the meaning of his words “the horror”. Was it a statement of the world to come or a statements of a life lived? Many of us in christian circles ask the same questions.
There is so much of my faith that confuses me. Issues of Gods calling, issues of belief, issues of understanding. Much of it is still confusing some 20 years after I was baptized. I think I liked the book because while at one time I identified with Kurtz (all full of ambition, talent, and a desire to change the world) I know identify with Marlow (just a simple guy doing the best he can with what he has). I used to think God wanted us to be the best at something. The older I get and the more time I spend on this dust ball the more I feel like maybe God just wants us to be. “Be still and know that I am God” Seems like I may have read that somewhere as well....
posted by Paul at Friday, October 17, 2008
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