Disappointment
This morning I woke up disappointed about something that recently happened. It reminded me of something I wrote last year.
It seems to me that there are two kinds of disappointments in life. Gut wrenching, life shaping disappointment and wary disappointment. Gut wrenching disappointment is just what it sounds like. It is the disappointment that brings grief. This type of disappointment is the realization of lost dreams, lost hope, lost relationship or lost potential. It is this form of disappointment that causes some in humanity to turn against themselves. When someone loses hope their life is lost. I’m not talking about suicide, although many people who commit suicide have done so out of lost hope. Instead I am talking about life lived without hope, emotional suicide. This hope lost experience produces a dreary, lifeless march through time with out purpose.
The other type of disappointment is wary disappointment. This type of disappointment might stem from the same circumstances but is more of a postponement of dreams. It is unique in its structure because it retains some hope in its nucleus. It is not the crushing of a dream but a delay. This disappointment does not lead to emotional death but instead emotional advancement. It sounds contrary, but this type of disappointment builds strength as if the postponement of a dream actually makes the vision stronger and more viable. Some might call this false hope but I believe it is the beginning of greatness. I believe this postponement of a dream can be the tadpole of a bigger dream. It is not dead, only growing. When the time is right, this disappointment will become a great triumph in a life lived in hope. I realize how funny what I am saying is. I am actually saying that something that begins as a defeat, with real pain, real disappointment and real sorrow can end up contributing to the greatest victory yet.
While it is easy to think, “God is not present when I hurt” or “God does not answer my prayers” Sometimes God is actually doing a greater work in our disappointment then in our victories. Someone once said, “Simplicity on this side of understanding is useless, simplicity on the other side of understanding is priceless.” Simply put we cannot learn to savor victory without first tasting defeat. This defeat most often comes in disappointment. When we are defeated the natural reaction is to turn to God in anger. When we win the natural reaction is to turn to our abilities. Without some defeat we would not understand how to turn to God in all our victories. This learning process is “simplicity on the other side of understanding” and is the hardest spiritual discipline to learn. There is this writer in the bible called James who once wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” I used to hate that verse because I thought is meant “life’s tough, get used to it”. Many well meaning Christians would have you believe that’s what the verse means. But now the verse means more to me than that. When I read that verse while disappointed I see something more. Instead of seeing an uncaring unsympathetic God I see an involved God who loves me enough to let disappointment form me. I see a God who wants to teach us to stop devouring life and its experience. I see how God wants us to savor life, to enjoy its taste, smell its sweetness, and see its flavor. In order to push away from the table of life full and satisfied we must also have pushed away disappointed and unsatisfied at times.
As crazy as it sounds, may you be disappointed soon. May God use a disappointment to shape you into her image. May you grow and stretch through some disappointment. May you become someone better because of some let down you experience. May you “consider it pure joy” when you can see and feel God shaping you through disappointment.
It seems to me that there are two kinds of disappointments in life. Gut wrenching, life shaping disappointment and wary disappointment. Gut wrenching disappointment is just what it sounds like. It is the disappointment that brings grief. This type of disappointment is the realization of lost dreams, lost hope, lost relationship or lost potential. It is this form of disappointment that causes some in humanity to turn against themselves. When someone loses hope their life is lost. I’m not talking about suicide, although many people who commit suicide have done so out of lost hope. Instead I am talking about life lived without hope, emotional suicide. This hope lost experience produces a dreary, lifeless march through time with out purpose.
The other type of disappointment is wary disappointment. This type of disappointment might stem from the same circumstances but is more of a postponement of dreams. It is unique in its structure because it retains some hope in its nucleus. It is not the crushing of a dream but a delay. This disappointment does not lead to emotional death but instead emotional advancement. It sounds contrary, but this type of disappointment builds strength as if the postponement of a dream actually makes the vision stronger and more viable. Some might call this false hope but I believe it is the beginning of greatness. I believe this postponement of a dream can be the tadpole of a bigger dream. It is not dead, only growing. When the time is right, this disappointment will become a great triumph in a life lived in hope. I realize how funny what I am saying is. I am actually saying that something that begins as a defeat, with real pain, real disappointment and real sorrow can end up contributing to the greatest victory yet.
While it is easy to think, “God is not present when I hurt” or “God does not answer my prayers” Sometimes God is actually doing a greater work in our disappointment then in our victories. Someone once said, “Simplicity on this side of understanding is useless, simplicity on the other side of understanding is priceless.” Simply put we cannot learn to savor victory without first tasting defeat. This defeat most often comes in disappointment. When we are defeated the natural reaction is to turn to God in anger. When we win the natural reaction is to turn to our abilities. Without some defeat we would not understand how to turn to God in all our victories. This learning process is “simplicity on the other side of understanding” and is the hardest spiritual discipline to learn. There is this writer in the bible called James who once wrote, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” I used to hate that verse because I thought is meant “life’s tough, get used to it”. Many well meaning Christians would have you believe that’s what the verse means. But now the verse means more to me than that. When I read that verse while disappointed I see something more. Instead of seeing an uncaring unsympathetic God I see an involved God who loves me enough to let disappointment form me. I see a God who wants to teach us to stop devouring life and its experience. I see how God wants us to savor life, to enjoy its taste, smell its sweetness, and see its flavor. In order to push away from the table of life full and satisfied we must also have pushed away disappointed and unsatisfied at times.
As crazy as it sounds, may you be disappointed soon. May God use a disappointment to shape you into her image. May you grow and stretch through some disappointment. May you become someone better because of some let down you experience. May you “consider it pure joy” when you can see and feel God shaping you through disappointment.
posted by Paul at Monday, February 13, 2006
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